Have you ever had a day where it feels like you are speaking a completely different language to your partner? When you say “tomato,” your partner hears “potato.” You’re like living in different worlds. Couples counseling is a powerful tool.
Imagine that you’re in a comfortable room with someone who wants to understand your relationship better. Sounds dreamy, right? It’s not a fantasy; couples’ counseling is what takes place.
Imagine John and Sarah. After ten years of marriage, they feel like playing a game of endless telephone. John feels Sarah never listens; Sarah believes John is always closed off. The two are stuck in an endless loop of frustration and misunderstandings.
The counselor will ask them to speak freely about their experiences in their first meeting. This is harder than you think! Slowly, however, they begin to notice where the lines are crossed. John recognizes that he is afraid of conflict and shuts off. Sarah realizes that she is anxious to be heard and so she constantly interrupts.
But it’s not just serious talks. Sometimes, laughter can help to relieve tension. John, for example, admits that he believed “active listening,” meant to nod while planning the next fishing trip in your head. Sarah admits to hiding shopping bags until her husband goes to sleep.
They are gold. These moments of levity remind couples to find humor and love beneath layers of miscommunication and stress.
It’s not just about discussing problems, but also learning together new skills. Active listening is about really hearing your partner without rebuttals or defensiveness. Like learning to dance, it’s awkward at first and becomes graceful as you practice.
Empathy is another important skill. It involves putting yourself into your partner’s position, even if the shoes are three sizes too large or too small for you to wear comfortably. Understanding their emotions without jumping straight into fixing it is important.
The ‘I statement’ is another tool that’s often used. It allows you to shift the focus away from the blame and onto your feelings. This makes conversations more friendly.
Let’s face it, sometimes things can get worse before getting better. As resentments are exposed to sunlight, old wounds surface and tears flood the air.
But these moments are also a time of immense growth potential and reconnecting – just like when you remove weeds to allow flowers to bloom stronger than before.
Don’t forget about date nights. Counselors emphasize the importance of rekindling romance through setting aside dedicated time to enjoy each other’s company, without distractions. ).
Remember Sam & Liz? Have you been married 15 years and have kids running all over the place leaving no room for intimacy in your marriage? They were encouraged to go on weekly dates, even if that meant watching cheesy romantic comedies under blankets while ordering pizza and waiting until the kids went to sleep. The couples found themselves laughing until midnight, reminiscing about shared memories. This brought them joy!
Let me say something very important: asking for help does not mean you are admitting defeat, but rather that you acknowledge your human shortcomings and strive to improve yourself. You should work together with your partner in a united manner as partners do.
If you are a newlywed couple adjusting to life after honeymoon and discovering new quirks, or if you have been married for a while but still desire reconnection with your partner remember that seeking out professional advice is not indicating weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength, demonstrating steadfast commitment in investing happiness into the future.
Who wouldn’t love a relationship that is filled with laughter, mutual understanding and respect?
Take the plunge and start your journey to rediscovering love today through transformational power couples counselling!